


Selected Excerpts from Correspondence Regarding Alchemical Artifacts of The Holy Roman Empire, or, A Partially Factual Account of How Nitou Kousuke Did Not Revive The Dead

by Dragonomatopoeia (IntelligentAirhead)



Category: Kamen Rider OOO, Kamen Rider Wizard
Genre: Academia, Ankh's Revival, Epistolary, Gen, M/M, Pen Pals, Post-Canon, Processing Trauma, Professor Nitou, Set post-heisei generations final, asking for help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 10:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntelligentAirhead/pseuds/Dragonomatopoeia
Summary: After the events of Heisei Generations Final, Eiji finds himself at a loss for what to do next in his efforts to revive Ankh.Enter Professor Nitou Kousuke, archaeologist, Kamen Rider, and author of several academic articles on alchemy.This is the story of how they both definitely, certainly do not perform necromancy, but may succeed in resuscitating an angry bird.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up! This takes place post Heisei Generations Final, which means it's way, way post-series for both of these shows, and will have spoilers for all three.

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Dear Dr. Nitou,

I recently came across your article, _Evidence of Intervention Against Tyrannical Rule in The Holy Roman Empire,_ in which you cite the discovery of several artifacts as key to understanding the shifting power dynamics of the times. While reading, I could not help but notice that you make particular note of several tools allegedly utilized in alchemical processes, and that you’ve expressed interest in delving deeper into their accompanying texts, but have met with frustration in endeavors to find them.

I have made contact with a private collector who has agreed to lend the related texts to you in order to further your research in this area. I, myself, would be very interested in your findings.

I hope this email finds you well, and thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

 **Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

That’d be sweet! Thanks!

Get me in touch with the collector and I’ll see what I can dig up.

Also, your username doesn’t match up with your signoff— might’ve forgotten to swithc accounts. Thought I’d let you know! 

**Nitou**

 

 **Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

Also, if you’re gonna go this in depth, you might wanna save it for after the assignment. You only have a motnh!

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

 **Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Dear Dr. Nitou,

I’m terribly sorry, but I’m not quite sure what you mean regarding only having a month? Is there a time limit relating to this topic that I should know about?

Sincerely,

Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

 **Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

It’s alright— you don’t need to say anything else.

We’ve covered the details of the research proposal several times in class, so you’ve tipped your hand here. Now, I know the attendance policy can be a little intimidating, but it’s there for the good of students! Why don’t you stop by during office hours, and we can discuss why you might be having difficulty attending class?

You seem really passionate about your work, and I’d hate for you to miss out on opportunities because you didn’t get the help you need!

My office is open from 13:40 to 14:40 M/W or by appointment, but if I’m not there, you can usually find me camping in the park!

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

 **Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Dear Dr. Nitou,

I really appreciate that; however… I’m not a student. This is independent research.

I’m terribly sorry for the misunderstanding.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

 **Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

SORRY ABOUT THAT!!

You write just like some of my freshmen!!! They get really polite when they’re new and nervous. Not that being polite is a bad thing! I’m just not really used to it in my emails nowadays. The older students don’t really give a shit anymore, and my coworkers are worse.

ANYWAY, really sorry! Googled you like I should have done earlier, and one, congrats on being alive, two, I’d definitely be real interested in scooping up some of Kougami’s shit if he’s willing to let go of it for a bit. The archaeological community kinda hates him! :D

Nothing against you! You seem cool and all, but private collectors can be demons.

Don’t tell him I said that, unless he’s one of those eccentric types that likes that shit, in which case, tell him immediately. Also see if you can talk him into some bequests.

Hope to hear from you soon!

**Nitou**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to watch every single Wizard movie to ensure Kousuke and Eiji had never met before. Including the Gaim one. Is this what it means to suffer for your art? Watching a Gaim movie?
> 
> Anyway, hope you're ready to learn about alchemy in the middle ages 'cause I literally read an entire book on it in preparation for this fic.


	2. 'Ancient History' is Subjective When Your Boss Keeps Bringing War Criminals Back from The Dead

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

So!

Basically, the ruler at the time was literally so unpopular that once he bit the dust p much everyone tried to burn his name out of existence. Not joking here— the guy was so shitty that everyone wanted to go on a historical bender and forget he ever existed. This extended to a LOT of his court, too, so tbh it’s a surprise we have evidence his alchemists even existed.

They didn’t get everything, though. One of the alchemists, Gara, apparently put a shitton of work into making sure he’d be remembered, which is wild, considering his accomplishments are pretty much all atrocities. Dude was MEAN.

Don’t get me wrong, most people looking for immortality are bastards, but this dude was Something Else. Didn’t give a shit about philosopher's stone stuff cause he thought collecting all the energy for it would take too long. There’s a laundry list of bullshit in his writings, but he straight up considered mass sacrifice, then went, “nah, that’ll take too long. I’ll MAKE MY OWN SENTIENT BEINGS instead so I can siphon energy off them”.

What a bastard.

Anyway, what we have of the writings on his planned creations are interesting— stomach churning, but interesting. There’s actual correspondence that mentions beings lining up with Gara’s descriptions terrorizing populaces around Europe. Not sure if it’s propaganda that was meant to help King Asshole and Friends maintain power or not, but I will say that the descriptions kinda remind me of the stuff that went down in 2011.  

Who knows, maybe the ‘Greeed’ are still out there~

That’s all I got for now, but I’m def gonna charge down this rabbithole now that I have all these first person sources to roll around in

**Nitou**

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

Also, one of these days you have _got_ to fix your email. I keep catching myself halfway to going, ‘oh, I can send this to Ankh,’ because your name’s all the way at the end instead of at the top.

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Hi Nitou,

I am afraid

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Hi Nitou,

Sorry about that! I sent the email too early by mistake.

What I meant to say was that I would change emails, but I am currently borrowing a friend’s phone, and I would feel a bit weird about adding my email account to his phone. Also, I’m not sure that he’d forgive me.

He gets a bit particular about things like that.

Also, I’m really sorry about my late response; I haven’t had internet access for a while. That aside—

I’m glad that the documents we sent were useful after all! I know a bit of German, but it’s definitely not enough to understand any of those papers.

However, I can recognize drawings, and the designs seemed to match up with what I know of alchemy. I’m happy that my guess turned out to be right, even if I’m not so happy to remember Gara’s existence. The thought of sacrificial alchemy always… Well, it’s stomach turning, to say the least.

That said, the information about him lines up with what I know. He’s not exactly one to scale anything back, or weigh his decisions too carefully.

Jumping to another subject, I have to admit being really curious about the correspondence about the Greeed. I’ve learnt a lot about them so far, but the more I learn, the more confusing things tend to get.

Sincerely,

Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

OH BOY DOES IT

Ok so there’s some real interesting stuff about the Greeed, but the most interesting bits— in my point of view anyway, but also I have objectively good taste in historical drama— are about the bird Greeed, or as one Brave Soul called him, Herr Fugal. Dude meant the archaic form of Vogel, not ‘like a fugue,’ but still. That’s pretty gutsy. I’m gonna call him Mr. Parrot in this long-dead dude’s honor.

Anyway, Mr. Parrot definitely wasn’t the most popular guy around, I can tell you that.

I’m looking at this correspondence and after talking to some pals that speak obscure dialects of middle high German— always keep some around— and Mr. Parrot was known as something of a ‘Straßenräuber und Landfriedensbrecher’. Dude stole people’s eyeballs.  

I mean, they also died. That’s a thing that happens when people’s eyes get snatched. Especially in the middle ages.

However! There are some conflicting accounts about who was involved/ motives/etc. I’ve attached some PAINFULLY LITERAL translations below. THey come in handy little folders cause I’m nice.

I’ll let you know if anything else comes up!

**Nitou**

**3 Attachments**

 

* * *

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Hi Nitou,

These are criminal records.

-Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

They sure are! Pretty informative too!

The first file has a trial dossier on the alchemists from when they were accused of being fakes. Being found out as a “Betrüger” was a pretty big deal back then. The real interesting stuff is inside the dossier though—  patronage appeals and laboratory reports.

It’s like a grocery list of every bit of material Gara and his group asked for. It’s pretty standard EXCEPT for the bit that won’t translate. Best thing I can come up with is something like “currency that holds energy,” which sounds p wild.

AS FOR THE OTHERS—- YEAH! THEY PUT! A BIRDMAN! ON TRIAL! TWICE!!! HE ESCAPED HALFWAY THROUGH! WHAT THE FUCK!!!

IT’S HILARIOUS WHETHER IT’S TRUE OR NOT

Hope you have as much fun flipping through this stuff as I did!

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Hi Nitou,

Thank you so much! The laboratory reports will be really, really helpful, and I’m sure the trial dossiers will be… interesting reads.

I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done so far.

-Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

No problem! Just don’t go around using them for your own nefarious purposes, alright? Alchemy can get pretty scary~

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Hi Nitou,

Funny you should mention that.

But, before I get into it— do you know Soma Haruto?

-Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

You do not know how tempted I was to start this with “Hi Eiji, I am afraid.”

Because, one, yeah I know Haruto, but why do _you_ know Haruto, and two (2) (II) (次に), bringing him up in conjunction with alchemy? Terrifying! Thanks! I’m gonna have nightmares about my good pal Eiji secretly plotting my rival’s demise until I get a response, probably, unless you answer before I go to bed, in which case, daymares.

Actually, a daymare is probably just a horse, considering the parts of the word, but let’s be real, horses are just as scary as, like, any real or imagined trauma made manifest anyway, so. We’re back at where we started: terrified.

Anyway before I say anything else please reassure me that my best friend isn’t dying or that you don’t have a plot to kill him ‘kay thanks appreciate it kisses bye

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Oh my god, I’m so sorry.

No, I’m not really an alchemist myself, and I promise Haruto-kun isn’t in danger.

Aside from the usual danger that accompanies his occupation, anyway? Well... our shared occupation, really. The health benefits aren’t stellar.

He seemed fine last time I checked in on him, though! And it’s only been a week, so unless the world has almost ended again without me noticing, he should be alright.

Again, I’m really, really sorry for the misunderstanding; I was trying to work up to telling you that Haruto-kun was the one who first introduced me to your work. We tend to work together a lot, and after learning about my invested interest in your field of study, he passed along your article.

I apologize for any inconvenience my lie of omission may have caused.

-Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Ankh Sehnsucht_

Don’t… say anything else.

So you’re a kamen rider?

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

Sorry… It’s a bit hard to confirm or deny that without speaking. ( – x – “)ᕗ

-Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

**Ankh Sehnsucht** <ankh.s@kougamicorps.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

It’s probably too soon for jokes. Sorry.

Yes, I’m a Kamen Rider. You might have heard about me, if you were following the 2011 news stories, actually. Or maybe just from Haruto-kun? I’m Kamen Rider OOO, officially.

Unofficially... I need your help. I’m looking forward to working with you, if you’d still be willing to reach out your hand, even after this.

-Hino Eiji

_Sent from my iPhone_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Soma Haruto_

HARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW LONG WERE YOU GONNA LET ME MAKE AN ASS OF MYSELF HUH!!!!!

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

  **Soma Haruto** <magic.time@Omokagedo.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

You’re so good at it that it would be a shame to stop you

_Sent on the go. Please excuse any typos!_

 

**Soma Haruto** <magic.time@Omokagedo.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

What did I not stop from happening

_Sent on the go. Please excuse any typos!_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Soma Haruto_

YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHEN YOU RUN INTO KAMEN RIDERS!!!!!

SEND ME SELFIES OR SMTHN I DON’T KNOW WHO’S WHO!!!!!!! THE LAST TIME I SAW OTHER RIDERS IT WAS IN ANOTHER DIMENSION + I’M NOT EVEN IN JAPAN RN I DDON’T KNOW SHIT ABUT SHIT!!!

**Nitou**

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Soma Haruto_

I TRIED TO GIVE OOO ACADEMIC ADVISING!

**Nitou**

 

* * *

 

**Soma Haruto** <magic.time@Omokagedo.ne.jp>

to _Kousuke.Nitou_

I didn’t know Hino was going back to college

Good for him

_Sent on the go. Please excuse any typos!_

 

* * *

 

**Kousuke.Nitou** <Kousuke.Nitou@cam.ac.uk>

to _Soma Haruto_

YOU’RE WORSE THAN THE DEVIL

**Nitou**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eiji spent a good ten minutes looking for that emoticon, probably


End file.
